I have made it a point to shiel the people that I love from the reprocussions that being in public life, as associated with my writing would do.  Let me say first and foremost, there is not now, nor will there ever be anything that I do either online or otherwise that is not first known to, and discussed with the person that I’ve chosen to share my life.    The reality of my situation and my life is that it is not simple, nor is it anybodies business but mine.  Having said that,  the most suprising thing about what amounted to an attack on my credibility, and my honesty, was that it was from an openly gay man.

Maybe I am overly optimistic, but I honestly would expect someone who has been the recipient of bigotry and intolerance to be more understanding, and perhaps a little more willing to give another human being the benefit of aceepting that his/her life is just that, his or her life, not someone elses.  I would not be so lucky.  I will say that I am thankful that the interviewer did do the honorable thing. He published an interview that was professional and respected my privacy.  For that I will be eternally thankful.  The whole experience has been very educational though.

My partner is of all things a very supportive and loving person. The choice to keep my partner out of the public eye is mine and mine alone.  The reality of my life is that I do not fit easily into anyone’s mold. there are three bombshells I’d like to drop on the universe

1.  I am not a homosexual.

2.  I am not a heterosexual.

3.  I am not a bisexual.

Those three facts may seem to be mutually exclusive.  The fact is that other than the person whom I’ve chosen to share my life with is the one and only person that has earned my trust both personally and sexually.  To define what makes me a sexual being would be a nearly insurmountable task. I’m sure by posting this, I’m opening myself to angry emails and curious inquiries.   Frankly my opinion is as it always has been.  If it suits you to spend time on the question, then I’m happy to give you something to occupy your time.  I’ll give you all some “facts” that may enlighten you in your quest for the truth.

1.  I have no idea how old I was the first time I had sex.  I don’t remember.

2.  Until I met the person whom I’ve chosen to life with I thought that sex was something that I would probably either avoid or that I’d simply do it to make the person I was with happy.  Not for my own gratification.

3.  I can say that physically speaking, I know what I find sexually appealing about both sexes, even though for me those facts don’t equate with a real connection with the actual “sex act.”

4.  Sex for me in the final analysis, before my partner, and more than likely if my partner ever left me, would continue to be more of a negotiation, than gratification for me, because dysfunction is frankly what sexually drives me.  I will openly admit that sex is physically gratifying yes,  and on it’s basest level of course, I am a human being with sexual urges and needs.  Unfortuantely those urges and needs are colored completely by things that for the most part are far beyond my understanding or control.

5.  I know that if I were to ever be single again, I would more than likely be alone.  I would always fear that the familiarity of abuse and mistreatment would be more attractive than an equal partner.  If you learn to accept being mistreated as a reality of life, it is easier to seek that out, than it is to wait on what you feel is inevitable betrayal and misuse of your love.

6.  I don’t understand why or how my partner accepts me as I am.  I am simply greatful that I’ve been given this true gift from God.

Regardless whether my partner were Victor or Victoria, I would never choose to have that person’s life be held up for scrutiny by the world because of my writing or my life.  That is an indelible fact.  The most infuriating thing about the entire experience is that it matters so much to so many people.  If  I were to say I am a homosexual living with another man, there would be many poeple who would applaud, and say how brave I was.  There would also be many people who would say, that is an abomination to God, that we would both burn in Hell.  On the other hand if I said I was a married man with a wife, there would be people who would say how important my “commitment” was and how I was helping preserve the fabric of society.  There would also be many peolple who would crucify me for “living a lie” without even caring to know the truth of my situation.  To both groups I would simply reply “bullshit!”  It is a rare rare thing in this life that two people manage to live together, and love each other without becoming another statistic in the long line of failed relationships that litter the world today.

Finally I am a very spiritual man.  I find my only real comfort in my relationship with God. Homosexual or Heterosexual, there are many many people locally that would publicly humiliate me, and negate my belief in my relationship with God, for no other reason than the subject matter contained in my books.  I have chosen to keep my writings private from people that I deal with daily.  I have been accused online of having an “agenda” and trying to preach acceptance of the gay life style.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  I simply don’t believe that a person’s sexuality should matter either way.  I don’t care if you, gentle reader enjoy sex missionary style every second tuesday, or if you have wild sexual orgies with men women and vibrating appliances.  In my estimation, those facts are not what make you a worthwile individual to know.  I am far more interested in how you view your responsiblity to society at large.

In the end, it is up to you to decide whether my sex life is anything worthy of your time, or if you would rather come to know who Blake Deveraux, the man is, and what he stands for. By posting my picture on my website, I realize that I risk subjecting myself and my family to persecution by the religious zealots that would denounce me as a heritic, and by the left that would prefer I were an outspoken advocate for all things homosexual.  I would hope that my beliefs, my devotion to my loved ones, my service to my community, and my character would matter more.  You, gentle reader, must be the judge of that.