Although I type this through tears, knowing that truly good, kind and non-bigoted people are the minority, I am thankful to God that I managed to encounter so many of them in one short period of time. And regardless of the fact that it was an isolated skip in time, and those of us who are waiting anxiously for next year, GRL  gave me something that I truly had begun to believe I’d lost, hope for the future.

Imagine my surprise when, out of the progressive mid west, comes a bigot that eclipses any that I’ve encountered in the south. I suppose it shouldn’t be a shock that the ignorance and bigotry this man espouses is cloaked in religion. It is however, all the more distasteful that it does.  Below I’ve posted a link to just one of the many hate filled tirades that this man disguises as sermons:

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/god-commands-you-kill-gays

I’m quite sure that “Pastor” Anderson, could do an entire series of sermons on why I should be shopping for a Kevlar bodysuit. I won’t even begin to justify my life, or my beliefs with the likes of Mr. Anderson. I would however, challenge him, or anyone else for that matter, that chooses to damn entire classes of humanity to eternal hell fire, to consider something that apparently they’ve forgotten, the ministry of  Jesus Christ.

I am very aware that there are many religions, sects and variations of religion in the world. It is up to each man to decide what path he takes. I espouse my beliefs to be Christian. It is not for Mr. Anderson, or you, gentle reader, to determine the validity of that claim, it is, in the final analysis, not even up to me. That is a decision only God himself can verify. Having said that, I absolutely will not, get into a battle of scripture with anyone on the subject of homosexuality, and how it is handled in the scriptures. That my friends would be the equimenical equivilent of WWIII.

The resounding fact though, the single glaring, obvious fact is that Jesus Christ is espoused by the Christian faith, to be the embodiment of what salvation is. In his ministry, he didn’t preach about theology, or any of the technical issues that had the ”religious” world reeling then, until now. Academics have been arguing these facts since he was on the earth. I find it incredible that a person who calls themselves a Christian, would not bother to read the words of Christ. Never once did Jesus broach the issue of homosexuality in the Bible. One could argue, it wasn’t an issue at that time, that the scriptures that refer to men “lying with men” were in reference to prostitution, or to the simple act of the fulfilment of lust for lusts sake. Historically speaking, there is little evidence that homosexuality as a practice was evident to the point that it was an issue to be preached on. It could be argued that the scriptures have been misrepresented, the list goes on. I will not take a position either way, because in my estimation, the question is without merit.

The fact is, the scriptures teach that excess in any thing has a negative effect on your spiritual life. That is why you won’t find ”Thou shalt not drink”. There are many, many references though, to avoiding “drunkeness”. That’s good advice where I come from. Jesus, however, made things so simple that even a moron like Steven Anderson SHOULD be able to figure it out. Many times the religious folks of that time tried to “trip” Jesus up, quoting scripture to him, trying to prove that he was in disagreement with Jewish law. Jesus simply said, he came to fulfil the law. When asked, what about this sin, what about that sin? What about this comandment, what about that commandment, (and yes, I’m paraphrasing, so sue me.) Jesus said,

 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Jesus wanted people to know, there’s no way to live perfect. You WILL fail. keep it simple, and you’ll please God, how difficult is that “Pastor” Anderson?

The rest of the “law” that many on the far right would have you believe is equally as vital to your salvation, is simply there to guide you. To keep you “honest” as it were. I equate “the law” with today’s speed limits. What is the purpose of speed limits, or at least the intended purpose? It is not to strip a driver of his ability to drive down the road, the instant his vehicle goes one mile per hour over the speed limit, no. It is designed to remind the driver, there is a limit to what you should do. If you exceed that limit, you risk your safety. Simply knowing that we have a limit, and knowing that there may be punishment for going outside that limit, most times, keeps us “on the straight and narrow”.  Jesus’ words were not ones of condemnation, or hatred, ever. The only time we see Jesus, as the young crowd would call it “break bad”, in the temple, wasn’t with the sinners, the prostitutes, the lowest of humanity, it was with the very people entrusted with aiding those people in finding a spiritual peace with God. It was those people’s misuse of his temple, of his teachings, that brought forth the wrath that he exposed. Jesus rewarded compassion and submission, with love.

“Pastor” Anderson, is fond of quoting scriptures, and he’s very talented at doing so. Problem is, he has no clue what any of them mean, or why they were written. I say this of course, as a generaliztion, since I have no doubt he has taught sound doctrine along side his hate filled propaganda,  He has done little more in most cases, than use the scripture as a way to feed his need for acceptance, and uplift his ministry, (notice I said HIS ministry,).  Never, once in all of his tirades, his angry vitriolic, diatribes, does he ever once quote the words of Jesus. Now, if you find a single reference to Jesus’ words in a sermon, save the email, even satan used scripture to make his point. (See the temptation of Jesus in the garden.. in case you think I’m lying..) Point is, Jesus’ words play a very minor role in “Pastor” Anderson’s agenda.  Want to know why that is? He knows that Jesus had one mission, and one mission only. His mission was to come to earth, to live a life that even an idiot like Steven Anderson couldn’t impugn, and to give people the truth. Rules won’t save your soul from hell. Neither will keeping your hair cut short, (even though that’s another of “Pastor Andersons” requirements, at least for men) or going to church every day of your life, and praying till your knees go numb. None of it matters outside salvation. Until the religious world quits worrying about whether you, or I “fit God’s requirements”, and start worrying about if we are living a life that’s worthy of Salvation our own selves, Hell will continue to burn hot for many unfortunate souls, and the religious right will have much of the blood on their hands. Let God decide if who I love matters, or to whom I am sexually attracted,  is worthy of damnation. 

In a blatant example of his vehement hate, and it’s irrational targets, he attacks one of the finest examples of Christianity on the planet, Billy Graham. I will say, that yes, Billy Graham has not lived a perfect life, and yes, if you look out over the ninety some odd years he’s lived, I’m very sure you can “catch” him in a quote that could be used to embarrass him.  How many men though, could live their lives, open as he has, with so little to impugn him.  I for one would be afraid to disregard one of the greatest evangelists of all time.  It could be argued, that more souls have been led to Christ through Billy Graham’s selfless ministry, than any other single minister in our time. Yet lets see what “Pastor” Anderson has to say about him in a sermon called “Why Billy Graham’s going to hell:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9DtBHeRP1Q&feature=channel

I suppose there is some comfort in having “Pastor” Anderson damn all gays to hell, is that they’re in good company, If Billy Graham isn’t going, there’s probably a bunch more people that can expect a suprise on judgement day.

I’ll play the devils advocate here for a second, I’m gonna prove to you, through scripture, that God wants all of his followers to commit suicide. (in the dictionary see Jim Jones..)

 Judas, being a disciple of Jesus, went out and hanged himself, go ye therefore, and do likewise.

NOW, that is all scripture, found in the King James Version, which “Pastor Anderson” is so fond of reminding us is the only “true” version of the bible, (I’m sure the authors of the scriptures themselves would be amused at that assertion, but I digress,) but I”ve taken parts from here and there, and used it to make a point.  IT IS A LIE, straight from the pit of hell, yet it came from scripture, because I took it, misused it, and molded it to my stated agenda. Now, don’t go hang yourselves people, please! 

I, Blake Deveraux do not speak for Jesus Christ. God knows that is the last thing I’d ever try to do. I would beg the reader of this blog to disregard every single thing I’ve told you as a lie. Because you know what, I’m a human being. I do not have all the answers, contrary to his inflated sense of self-importance, neither does Steven Anderson, or any preacher, or any other human being alive. Find those answers for yourselves, people. Don’t assume that just because one verse says something that sounds like a condemnation of the person you are, READ, pray, find out for yourself if God is pleased with your life.  YOU gentle reader, are the only person capable of deciding that, not myself, or “Pastor” Steven Anderson. If you’ve made a conscious decision to accept Jesus as the way, the truth, and the life, guess, what, he’ll answer all those questions for you. If something is wrong, you won’t be okay with doing it. Why do you think it is that when a little child lies, the first thing he/she does is look around nervously, and fidget? Because he/she knew when the words came out of his/her mouth, it was wrong!… Being a child of God is funny like that, you’ll know folks. It’s not up to me to decide what that is for you.

Funny thing about “Pastor Anderson” and those like him, is that, in order to “preach the gospel” they feel the need to continually condemn. Some day when you are feeling truly desolate, and in need of some self loathing, go check out the man’s website…

http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/index.html

I’d challenge you to listen to his messages. Rarely, if ever does any sort of confirmation that salvation is a pleasant thing, that Christ is a calming, peaceful part of a Christian’s life. The sermons have a consistent theme, “Why I hate Barack Obama, God hates fags, etc… Most of them are titled innocuously enough, but you don’t haveto listen long to realize, this man truly hates himself, far more than he hates Barack Obama.  God challenges us daily to rise abovewhat we are by nature. Part of that is to forgivethe unforgivable. My first response to the link I referenced above was outrage and hate. I’ll admit it. As I’ve stood over the bodies of young tortured teenagers, who couldn’t live “good enough” or were “just bad”, they chose to go into eternity, to end their lives, rather than to subject the universe to their perceived short comings. God help us. In order to move on, and avoid allowing the hate this man espouses to infect my soul, I have to forgive his ignorance, and pray that he’ll find peace with God, and his life. Only a person with deep spiritual conflict, moral paradox, and feelings of condemnation, could harbor this kind of hate.

As I said before, I am no minister, I am no example of anything, other than a child of God, a work in progress, and a man that doesn’t have all the answers. I do know one thing though, Jesus Christ would be sickened at the loss of young lives in the name of “saving them from their sins”.  Let God convict the sin, and you love the sinner. Sure, its easy to say, but not so easy to do. One thing I’d point out, the only time Jesus went to church, was when he was pointing out to the religious crowd that they’d missed the point… If God has their souls, he’ll take care of the rest. Jesus spent most of his time ministering right where he was needed, with the poor, the down trodden, the sinners, he didn’t tell them to get on some clean clothes, wash up, come to church, and THEN, I’ll save you. He did the work, they took care of the rest out of respect for what he’d done.

I have a friend who is an openly gay man, who lives with another openly gay man. He is a professed child of God. He is a talented musician, and an amazing human being. Because of his sexual orientation though, he’s been relegated to quietly slipping into services where he can go unnoticed, or generally resorting to watching other church-goers on television, and long for the time when he could use his God given talent to praise God.  If “Pastor” Anderson has his way, the church would execute him first.

Finally, I’ll end with some pretty plain words, “I am the way the truth and the life, no man cometh unto the father except by me.” Sorry Pastor Anderson, he wasn’t talking about you…

There are many things about which I, Blake Deveraux am ambivalent.  I don’t really care who wins the Superbowl this year.  Hell I couldn’t tell you who won it last year!  I could really care less who wins American Idol,  it’s a predetermined fact that winning that show only proves one thing, you have the ability to get people to spend nine nine cents in a futile attempt at fame.  The list of things I’m ambivalentabout grows daily as the minutia of life grows more and more mundane.  However, there are a few things that anyone who has spent more than ten minutes in my presence will attest.  I love my family more than anything in life, I love writing more than a sane person should, and I finally I think Julian Fantechi is the best looking man to ever walk the earth.

Okay, maybe that’s being a bit broad, but it is a fact that the man defines what makes a man sexy, at least for me, ***winks***.  The guy has a body straight from any honest straight woman’s or gay  man’s wet dreams.  He has the face of an angel, hair that just begsto have your fingers muss it, and a smile that could convince satan himself to give the guy a second chance if he’d been bad, and eyes that are deep wells of passion in which many people both male and female have longed to plunge.

I met Julian at a conference in Ohio this June.  In all fairness, I was prepared to hate him.   Mind you for no other reason than my own rather average apperance is eclipsed by the man that is Julian. No one with a body like that, a smile like that, and eyes… God, where do I start about his eyes, could be a decent human being.  He simply mustbe vacuuous, vain, and devoid of any common sense.  I knew nothing, mind you about the man, or his life other than the fact that he was perhaps the most handsome guy I’d ever lain eyes

on.

Life is not as easy as the universe would like to paint it for  Julian Fantechi, or anyone with good genetics, a handsome face, and a willingness to work tirelessly to possess the fittest image, your body will create.  In order to achieve that package you have to be willing to excersize more than most people sleep. As well you need to be willing to forsake anything that resembles good food (french fries, ice cream, the list goes on…)  Having the body that, as I prefer to call him “his royal hotness” possesses, is a full time job in itself, one that I am far from having the willpower, or the genetics, to possess.

The simple truth is, though, that Julian Fantechi, is far from vacuous, or vain for that matter.  He is an amazing man.  I don’t simply say that because I am enamored with the guy,  true as it may be, it simply is.  If you put aside the fact that his chosen field is in the pursuit of helping developmentally challenged children, or the fact that he is active in a number of charitable ventures for which he asks no public acknowledgement, his is still a great guy.  His academic accomplishments are stellar.  What doesn’t this guy have going for him? When I met him I have to admit, I was a shameless fan.  I asked for the obligatory autograph, and bought whatever items the company that sponsored his visit to the conference offered without frankly pausing to see what it was.  The thing that made me pause, and look deeper into those amazing eyes, was the exchange after that.

The purpose of his visit at the conference was obviously to proffer some business for the company that sponsored his visit, as well as to pose with the various authors and readers at the convention.  He is after all, the epitome of what a romance novel cover model should be.  The image is unblemished, therefore very marketable, I get that.  I’m a business man too.  It is good business to further the “image” that sells.  That image doesn’t include muddying the “waters” as it were by making nice with the gblt community.  Most models that market themselves to the masses do one of two things, either embrace the obvious draw of the gblt’s love for a good looking man and therefore risk  limiting his marketablity to the “straight” community, but usually, they avoid any potential activity that questions his staunch masculinity, and heterosexuality,but  Julian Fantechi is no body’s puppet.  As the only male author there, I was frankly very conspicuous.  It would have probably been prudent for his “image” to avoid the m/m erotic author completely.  He was, however, gracious and just as attentive to my questions, and interest in his career as to any of the women there.  Frankly, amongst the “cover model” crowd, that is rarely the case.  It simply isn’t viewed as “good business” to get too friendly with the gay community.  Sure most male models will give the lip service, but rarely is there anything of substance there.  Julian has gone out of his way to let the gay community know that he recognizes them as ardent fans, and has been gracious in reaching out to those fans as well as his massive following amongst the heterosexual community.

As a fairly new author, with a reasonably small publishing house, having the man himself do a cover for me was, I thought, a wild dream.  One that most certainly wouldn’t be happening since I was sure that his manager, or other business contacts would certainly steer him away from such a “small time” venture.  This fact would be compounded of course by the fact that to my knowledge he’d never been on a m/m erotic cover before.  Upon meeting him,  the fact that he was as kind to me as he was, as well as the fact that he seemed genuinely interested in what had brought me to the conference, caused me to throw caution to the wind and ask if he’d be on my next book cover.  The rest, as they say, is history.

It is an unusual thing to find someone who is as handsome as Julian to be even more intellegent, and talented in many many ways that have nothing at all to do with his face or his abs.  When many other “cover models” are desperately grasping to keep up with the young models coming up behind them, and struggling to keep the “image” up, it is nice to know that there is someone who’s managed to have the best of both worlds.  One day, Julian Fantechi, the cover model will retire, hang up the image, and leave it to the “boys”, but when the sun sets on his modeling career, he will still be one of the best looking men on the planet, because his beauty truly does come from within.

I have made it a point to shiel the people that I love from the reprocussions that being in public life, as associated with my writing would do.  Let me say first and foremost, there is not now, nor will there ever be anything that I do either online or otherwise that is not first known to, and discussed with the person that I’ve chosen to share my life.    The reality of my situation and my life is that it is not simple, nor is it anybodies business but mine.  Having said that,  the most suprising thing about what amounted to an attack on my credibility, and my honesty, was that it was from an openly gay man.

Maybe I am overly optimistic, but I honestly would expect someone who has been the recipient of bigotry and intolerance to be more understanding, and perhaps a little more willing to give another human being the benefit of aceepting that his/her life is just that, his or her life, not someone elses.  I would not be so lucky.  I will say that I am thankful that the interviewer did do the honorable thing. He published an interview that was professional and respected my privacy.  For that I will be eternally thankful.  The whole experience has been very educational though.

My partner is of all things a very supportive and loving person. The choice to keep my partner out of the public eye is mine and mine alone.  The reality of my life is that I do not fit easily into anyone’s mold. there are three bombshells I’d like to drop on the universe

1.  I am not a homosexual.

2.  I am not a heterosexual.

3.  I am not a bisexual.

Those three facts may seem to be mutually exclusive.  The fact is that other than the person whom I’ve chosen to share my life with is the one and only person that has earned my trust both personally and sexually.  To define what makes me a sexual being would be a nearly insurmountable task. I’m sure by posting this, I’m opening myself to angry emails and curious inquiries.   Frankly my opinion is as it always has been.  If it suits you to spend time on the question, then I’m happy to give you something to occupy your time.  I’ll give you all some “facts” that may enlighten you in your quest for the truth.

1.  I have no idea how old I was the first time I had sex.  I don’t remember.

2.  Until I met the person whom I’ve chosen to life with I thought that sex was something that I would probably either avoid or that I’d simply do it to make the person I was with happy.  Not for my own gratification.

3.  I can say that physically speaking, I know what I find sexually appealing about both sexes, even though for me those facts don’t equate with a real connection with the actual “sex act.”

4.  Sex for me in the final analysis, before my partner, and more than likely if my partner ever left me, would continue to be more of a negotiation, than gratification for me, because dysfunction is frankly what sexually drives me.  I will openly admit that sex is physically gratifying yes,  and on it’s basest level of course, I am a human being with sexual urges and needs.  Unfortuantely those urges and needs are colored completely by things that for the most part are far beyond my understanding or control.

5.  I know that if I were to ever be single again, I would more than likely be alone.  I would always fear that the familiarity of abuse and mistreatment would be more attractive than an equal partner.  If you learn to accept being mistreated as a reality of life, it is easier to seek that out, than it is to wait on what you feel is inevitable betrayal and misuse of your love.

6.  I don’t understand why or how my partner accepts me as I am.  I am simply greatful that I’ve been given this true gift from God.

Regardless whether my partner were Victor or Victoria, I would never choose to have that person’s life be held up for scrutiny by the world because of my writing or my life.  That is an indelible fact.  The most infuriating thing about the entire experience is that it matters so much to so many people.  If  I were to say I am a homosexual living with another man, there would be many poeple who would applaud, and say how brave I was.  There would also be many people who would say, that is an abomination to God, that we would both burn in Hell.  On the other hand if I said I was a married man with a wife, there would be people who would say how important my “commitment” was and how I was helping preserve the fabric of society.  There would also be many peolple who would crucify me for “living a lie” without even caring to know the truth of my situation.  To both groups I would simply reply “bullshit!”  It is a rare rare thing in this life that two people manage to live together, and love each other without becoming another statistic in the long line of failed relationships that litter the world today.

Finally I am a very spiritual man.  I find my only real comfort in my relationship with God. Homosexual or Heterosexual, there are many many people locally that would publicly humiliate me, and negate my belief in my relationship with God, for no other reason than the subject matter contained in my books.  I have chosen to keep my writings private from people that I deal with daily.  I have been accused online of having an “agenda” and trying to preach acceptance of the gay life style.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  I simply don’t believe that a person’s sexuality should matter either way.  I don’t care if you, gentle reader enjoy sex missionary style every second tuesday, or if you have wild sexual orgies with men women and vibrating appliances.  In my estimation, those facts are not what make you a worthwile individual to know.  I am far more interested in how you view your responsiblity to society at large.

In the end, it is up to you to decide whether my sex life is anything worthy of your time, or if you would rather come to know who Blake Deveraux, the man is, and what he stands for. By posting my picture on my website, I realize that I risk subjecting myself and my family to persecution by the religious zealots that would denounce me as a heritic, and by the left that would prefer I were an outspoken advocate for all things homosexual.  I would hope that my beliefs, my devotion to my loved ones, my service to my community, and my character would matter more.  You, gentle reader, must be the judge of that.

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